Tiger Woods says he was "living a lie" until he was able to grasp that his transgressions were "hurting a lot of people" including his wife and family, ESPN reported today.
In his first interview since a sex scandal shattered his image, golfer Woods said it wasn't until he did some soul searching with a therapist that he came to the "ugly" truth of just how much he had let down those who were closest to him.
"I was living a lie, I really was," Woods told ESPN reporter Tom Rinaldi, in his first on camera interview since a November car crash outside his Florida home. "And I was doing a lot of things, that hurt a lot of people.
"And stripping away denial, and rationalization, you start coming to the truth of who you really are, and that can be very ugly."
Woods announced his return at the Masters in April after four months of self-imposed exile.
He told ESPN he is starting to get his life back in order.
"When you face it, and you start conquering it, and you start living up to it, the strength that I feel now. I have never felt that type of strength," he said.
Woods has not played since winning the Australian Masters in mid-November after a sex scandal in which he admitted cheating on wife Elin, and apologized for igniting a tabloid frenzy where more than a dozen women have claimed affairs.
Woods conducted two separate few-minute interviews with ESPN and The Golf Channel on Sunday afternoon.
Dressed in a green sweater and a white baseball cap, Woods chose his words carefully as he interviewed near his home in Windermere, Florida.
Woods said he reached a low point when he had to face his mother and wife with the truth.
"I had a lot of low points. Just when I didn't think it could get any lower it got lower," Woods said. "There were so many different low points. People I had to talk to and face like my wife, like my mom.
"I hurt them the most. Those are the two people in my life who I am the closest to and to say the things that I've done, truthfully to them, is ... honestly ... was ... very painful."
Responding to how his wife took the news, Woods said, "She was hurt, she was hurt. Very hurt.
"Shocked. Angry. She had every right to be and I am disappointed as everyone else in my own behavior because I can't believe I actually did that to the people I loved."
Woods' interview come just days after former porn star Veronica Siwik-Daniels, known in the sex industry as Joslyn James, released more than 100 text messages on her website that portray Woods as someone who fantasizes about having violent sex with submissive women.
"Just one is enough," Woods said of his affairs. "Obviously that wasn't the case and I've made my mistakes. I have hurt so many people. I have to make amends and that's living a life of amends."
Woods attended a clinic in Mississippi in January and February. Asked what he went into in-patient therapy for, Woods refused to go into specifics.
"That's a private matter. But I can tell you that it was tough. Really tough to look at yourself in a light that you never want to look at yourself. That's pretty brutal.
"A lot has transpired in my life. A lot of ugly things have happened. I have done some pretty bad things in my life."
Woods appeared on television on February 19 and made a public apology but it was a tightly controlled and scripted show. Only a few handpicked reporters were in attendance and none was allowed to ask questions.
"There were lots of people that thought I was a different person and my actions were not according to that. That is why I had to apologize."
Asked why he didn't see treatment earlier, Woods said: "Well, I didn't know I was that bad."
Woods did not give details Sunday on the infamous car crash.
"It is all in the police report," he said. "Beyond that, everything is between Elin and myself and that is private."
Woods also declined to comment on why he lost control and smashed his car.
"As I said. That is between Elin and myself," Woods said.
Woods told The Golf Channel that even people in his inner circle didn't know the extent of his problems.
"It was all me. I'm the one who did it. I'm the one who acted the way I acted. No one knew what was going on when it was going on," Woods said.
"I'm sure if more people would have known in my inner circle, they would have stopped it, or tried to put a stop to it. But I kept it all to myself," he said.
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