I went to the doctors the other day and I said, "Have you got anything for wind?" So he gave me a kite.

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah: I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one."

There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"